2. What are three values you treasure most in a friendship?
3. Do you meal plan or do you mostly wing it? Share your dinner menus for this week.
4. Thomas Sowell is credited as saying, ''There are no solutions, only trade-offs.' Agree or disagree? Discuss.
5. What's the best perk you've enjoyed at a job?
6. Insert your own random thought here.
In my old job today is considered a holiday - the day after April 15th!! We didn't get any holidays off between Jan 1-April 15th so they made sure we had this day and then three months of 1/2-day Fridays to make up for the long hours leading up to Tax Day. My daughter still works at that company and finished her last 55-hr week last week. As a teacher I really did log about that many hours in at least 2-3 weeks/month for the entire school year so. . .I get it. It's hard on family life but I love being busy and productive and also really enjoyed having the downtime in the summers. Now that I'm at a traditional 9-5 I made sure that I negotiated lots of PTO so I could still have "shorter" summer weeks - ha!
I wrote most of a HodgePodge post last week then forgot to finish and publish so let's try again! I enjoy the prompts and then reading everyone's answers. Head over to Joyce's blog to read more :)
1. Ha! Despite working at a tax firm for almost two years, I have never done my own taxes but that is because I am married to someone who really likes to do them. Or, at least, likes to make sure they are done correctly ;). This is the first year he hasn't done the taxes for the older two - the oldest has a couple of businesses so he's on his own with those and the second is considered a missionary so her pay and expenses are very different. Our daughter found someone in the town she's living in that does a lot of taxes for those serving in student ministry in the area, which I thought was wonderful. Why doesn't our tax accountant daughter do our taxes?? I know, right?? Some reason a cobbler's wife never has shoes maybe??
At the moment the only "taxing" thing in my life is trying to figure out this season of life. As I've mentioned many times before, I'm really struggling through the expectations of this season - grown kids, some still at home, none married, walked away from the career I loved eight years ago (middle school teacher), time to fill, no real direction. There is nothing "bad" or awful or terrible about any of this and this is NOT a complaint. It is taxing b/c I like to have a direction, a goal, objectives, a challenge. . .for me "taxing" is rest and I realize for others there is no "rest" in their lives. I'm incredibly grateful for where I am right now.
2. Values I treasure most in a friendship - time, honesty, common interests
I am a very relational person so time has to come first. My good friends from my "mother of young children days" are scattered and busy and it's HARD. We live in three different cities - one with 5 children, one with 4 (the third getting married this summer), and the intentionality we used to put in getting together has been put on the back-burner during the busy/hectic/hard teenage/young adult years of our children. We were together at Amy's son's wedding two summers ago:
I wrote most of a HodgePodge post last week then forgot to finish and publish so let's try again! I enjoy the prompts and then reading everyone's answers. Head over to Joyce's blog to read more :)
1. Ha! Despite working at a tax firm for almost two years, I have never done my own taxes but that is because I am married to someone who really likes to do them. Or, at least, likes to make sure they are done correctly ;). This is the first year he hasn't done the taxes for the older two - the oldest has a couple of businesses so he's on his own with those and the second is considered a missionary so her pay and expenses are very different. Our daughter found someone in the town she's living in that does a lot of taxes for those serving in student ministry in the area, which I thought was wonderful. Why doesn't our tax accountant daughter do our taxes?? I know, right?? Some reason a cobbler's wife never has shoes maybe??
At the moment the only "taxing" thing in my life is trying to figure out this season of life. As I've mentioned many times before, I'm really struggling through the expectations of this season - grown kids, some still at home, none married, walked away from the career I loved eight years ago (middle school teacher), time to fill, no real direction. There is nothing "bad" or awful or terrible about any of this and this is NOT a complaint. It is taxing b/c I like to have a direction, a goal, objectives, a challenge. . .for me "taxing" is rest and I realize for others there is no "rest" in their lives. I'm incredibly grateful for where I am right now.
2. Values I treasure most in a friendship - time, honesty, common interests
I am a very relational person so time has to come first. My good friends from my "mother of young children days" are scattered and busy and it's HARD. We live in three different cities - one with 5 children, one with 4 (the third getting married this summer), and the intentionality we used to put in getting together has been put on the back-burner during the busy/hectic/hard teenage/young adult years of our children. We were together at Amy's son's wedding two summers ago:
These are ladies that we can pick up right where we left off!Honesty - this is not just in friendship, but in all areas. I want to be with people who speak the truth, tell me how they are feeling (even when it's hard), say "I don't really want to" instead of just "going along with it" when they really don't want to, who push me to be a better person because they are such good people.
Common interests - Picking up on that last sentence - I want to be inspired to be a better person and can only do that if I'm surrounded by people who want to grow with me. I think these ladies were my best friends through a season because they were/are such good mothers to their children and wives to their husbands. . .they inspired me to be better and grow in those areas. I like to have friends who are active and like to discuss books, podcasts, etc. I like to do projects with people, even run errands. Again, just time together to talk, be honest, listen, grow, and challenge one another to use our gifts and talents for good and purpose.
3. Meal plan - ha! I have a plan for Easter. . .that's it. Breakfast is rare, unless I'm working from home like today, then I'll do a "brunch" - usually eggs and toast. Bacon, sausage or ham also, if we have any. I generally have lunch out for work or with a friend 2-3 days/week otherwise it's yogurt, an apple, crackers, a salad maybe. . .I don't plan that either because it's not consistent. In the last couple of years my husband and I just don't plan and/or eat dinner. If I've snacked all day (which sometimes happens) I'll be intentional about eating a meal but he can't really eat much after 4 p.m. The kids were home last night and wanted dinner so we made it - burgers, potatoes, broccoli.
4. There are no solutions, only trade-offs. Gosh was a pessimistic view. A trade-off is a compromise, which isn't always bad, especially when you want to get along and live in a world with differing opinions and viewpoints. I absolutely think there are solutions to problems though. My husband and I chose to have one of us work and one of us stay home full-time with our children. The trade-off perspective was that we were choosing one thing (time with our children) over another (a second income) and sometimes we had to remind our children that was a choice we made - we are choosing one thing over another. However, it was a solution for us - neither of us wanted to be stressed to the point that we had to "do it all" or pay someone to do it for us. . .this "choice" was the solution that worked for us. This is an extreme example because not everyone even has the option to make this choice but we did. Some people see making a hard choice as a trade-off, but if the group agrees it works for them, it is a solution.
5. Job perks - wow! When I left teaching and went into the corporate world, I couldn't believe I got PAID to plan things, to craft things, to think about things, to learn things. Really. I remember sitting at my desk making invitations to an event the partners were sponsoring thinking, this is what it's like to get paid for everything you do - wow. As a teacher, our contracts were for the school day, some time (30 mins?) before and after school, and a few inservice days - looking at it that way, dividing out the time you are required to be at school, the salary isn't that bad. But add in the number of hours you plan, shop, put together activities, evaluate, attend meetings/conferences/events outside that time. . .well. . .I thought getting paid to do all those things was pretty darn good :)
Other great perks - I worked at the movie theatre in high school and all through college - free movies were a great perk! At my last job they fed us all.the.time and that was phenomenal. And generous. II can't imagine what their food bill was but what a treat to not have to buy lunch a couple times a month and never have to bring coffee/soda/snacks to work. So yes, I've had some great "perks" in my life. The thing is, many operations confuse "perks" with "culture" and they aren't the same. Very few people are going to stay in a job that isn't suited for them and/or is not a "good" place to be for the "free stuff". As an employer, the most important thing is to provide safety and growth opportunities for your people - and thank them for their contributions to your bottom line with "perks" :)
6. I heard something recently about being in a "consumer" culture instead of producing. It really hit the nail on the head. When we were kids, we were outside, making up games, building forts, racing, creating, telling stories, forming "clubs", interacting together. . .now there's so much "consuming" - watching t.v., sitting through a sermon, watching makeovers instead of doing them, buying products instead of making them. . .just a thought that has hit me hard. It kind of goes back to the friendship thing - are we being intentional in building those relationships or have we fallen into such a consumer mindset that we don't put effort into things like we used to? I don't know. . .just my "last thought" of they day :). And I appreciate a friend at my old job first pointing this out to me last year and then our pastor at church in a recent sermon. I do think reading goes both ways - I enjoy learning and growing my perspective and I find these blogs a great way to get to know people - I just wish I could interact with you all more :).
Happy Wednesday Friends - off to do a couple on online trainings today - Difficult Conversations is the topic. It's a hard one but important to keep our teams strong.
Love,
Jenni
UGH - I wrote all that, read my draft (which I almost always do) - then forgot to hit publish :/. I couldn't figure out whey my font changed after I posted that picture. Oh well, a day late. . .it still works, right?
And I need to find more pictures - I can't believe I wrote this much without pictures!
Better late than not at all : ) I am a little older than you and am still figuring out this season. One of my 'real life' friends commented that she's glad to hear she's not the only one trying to settle in to this period of time. What you said in your random thought resonates with me. I think we let so much of life just happen as opposed to living with intention and I want to be intentional in all areas, especially my relationships and how I spend my time. I watch my girls as mothers to young children, and I see the daily struggle to keep screens at bay, probably their own most of all. I think they are of a generation who can see both the value and the curse of technology and they are intentional about finding balance. They want their kids to have a carefree childhood where their imaginations can run wild and they strive to make that happen. The current generation has never not known technology as part of their daily lives so not sure how that will play out in years to come. I'm also all about interacting through my blog. Next time I come to Knoxville I'll let you know and maybe we can meet for coffee...it's fun to put a real person with their blog. We haven't been making the trek as much since Helene and I-40 being shut down, but we'll get there soon.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for the thoughts Joyce! I would love to meet so many of you IRL. . .the internet makes the world smaller, right? And I guess the first thing we have in common is sharing our lives on this platform - something many people (including my husband) see as very strange. Yes, please let me know when you head this way - we can make something happen for sure. I've been drawn to your blog because it does seem like we have a lot in common and I can learn a lot from someone who lives a life I admire.
DeleteWe had "tech tickets" when my kids were younger - and that was only for the Wii and movies! I can't imagine how difficult it is to protect our children now from all the outside influences that they are not ready for.
This has been a great journal for me over the years - I went in search of that Technology Ticket post - real life a dozen years ago! https://jennisseasons.blogspot.com/2014/07/technology-tickets.html
I think the Sowell quote was a bit hard to understand exactly what he was getting at? I took it as there's no one right solution that applies to everyone. It's all about the trade off. For your family, the solution was for you to not work. But for a family where, say, the mom has great health insurance and the dad doesn't or their monthly expenses are such that one income isn't going to cut it, then their solution is for both parents to work. If you try on a dress and it's way tighter than the last time you wore it, you can either make changes in diet and movement such that it will fit better in a couple of months... or you can buy the same dress but in a bigger size. Either decision comes with trade offs. If your vacation fund isn't filling up as fast as you'd like, you can forego buying fun things and putting that money in the fund or if you want to keep buying things, you can make your vacation plans less expensive to account for less money in the fund. No one solution is the best one on the face of it- it's about weighing the trade offs and making a decision based on the trade offs. I used to never publish a blog post without pictures!! Pictures and posts went hand in hand. I think my first post without a picture was a Hodgepodge post!! Happy Easter!
ReplyDeleteMaria, this is why I so often read your comments on others' blogs - you have such thoughtful, insightful perspectives that generally go a little "deeper". You call trade-off what I call a "choice" (I think) - I think Dr. Dobson brought that to our attention in one of his books when our children were young and we were trying to figure out how to raise our children "right" - ha! Now we know. . . we do the best we can and point to Jesus every day :). Anyway, we would tell our children that "this is the choice we have made for the family", whether it be the dinner we were making, the trip we were taking, or what event we were prioritizing that day/weekend. Always a trade-off for sure.
DeleteMaybe I see a decision as something that has been talked about and a "final answer" of sorts - not to be argued about afterwards (at least in our marriage relationship or even with parenting, as long as all sides were listened to, discussed, and considered). I like decisions, even if they aren't the way I would go. I work for someone who talks and talks and talks and rarely makes a decision (as a director I feel he should) and it drives me NUTS - ha! But, alas, decisions without input aren't fair to anyone - I'm glad I don't live in a family with a dictator like that :). Appreciate Joyce starting this dialog this week - it's given me a lot to think about. Have a great Easter!
Better late than never! :) I think so many mid life women including me feel that this phase can be taxing. Sometimes I feel that I don't have much purpose in my life, so that can be depressing! I also agree with your last section about our world turning from productive to consuming. I am hopeful for the younger generation - some of the college kids now are not so interested in phone technology and more interested in crafts/arts/music etc. Hope you have a very Happy Easter!
ReplyDeleteTanya, one thing I've found in blogging and podcasts this year is that we're not alone in this stage. I kinda wish, though, that there was more of a solution or path or something. There are the infant/toddler/preschool years - you know how those should go. Then the school years - pretty scripted. Then you build a career, build a family, sometimes both, sometimes one or the other. . .but now. . .wow. Now what?? Even my husband was asking me this question the other day. He thought I had "gone through the transition" (kids leaving for college) better than I had - I don't know about that. I feel just as "lost" honestly. What did our mothers and grandmothers do? I feel like "we" had kids younger than our kids are so maybe they went straight to grandparenting? But, then again, we didn't live near my grandparents so. . .I just don't know. They probably had more housework and cooking then we do (the conveniences and wealth of the 21st century!). . .I just don't know. Thanks for always inspiring me with books you're reading and things you do with your kids when they are home - it does give me ideas on how to be more intentional in my days for sure.
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